


Per Aspera Ad Astra

by deo-agent (WillowRoseBrook)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alien Abduction, Aliens, Angst, Blood, Death, F/M, Friendship, Fuck Or Die, Healing, J'alex, Kidnapping, Mildly Suicidal Thoughts, Sexism, Showers, Space Flight, Violence, fight to the death, sacred rituals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-08-22 10:56:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8283404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WillowRoseBrook/pseuds/deo-agent
Summary: Because it's not enough for them to get captured by Cadmus, they have to go to another galaxy! This one's going to hurt, but I hate angst, so there'll be happy parts too. And goofy parts. You all know my love for cliches. The title is a  Latin phrase, meaning "Through Difficulty, to the Stars"I'm not going to use archive warnings, but I will tag as I go through. There will be some darker elements, including issues of consent and semi-graphic violence. Please make sure you read the tags carefully!





	1. Away

“Sir, unidentified alien threat. Species unknown.” Vasquez’s voice had a note of panic to it. “I don’t think it’s a Raaz escapee.”

“Could it be friendly, then?” J’onn asked, moving to stand behind her chair, hands on his hips. Alex dropped the file she was carrying on the table and followed suit.

“I don’t think so,” Vasquez said grimly, pulling up a live video feed. A large, pink-ish, armor-clad creature stood atop a gazebo in the city park, it’s voice booming.

“Come face me! I am Marr, champion of Gosgon!” It leapt from the roof and picked up a bench, hurling it into the street. People were screaming and running for cover. Vasquez shut the feed down.

“Point taken,” said J’onn. “Vasquez, see if Astra’s database includes Gosgon. Mine doesn’t.”

Alex was already half way across the room, stripping off the lab coat she had been wearing over her uniform. J’onn met her in the weapons room.

“What do you think we’ll need?” she asked. He shrugged.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” A small team had already assembled when Alex stepped out into the main hall, armed to the teeth.

“Sir,” Vasquez called. “Gosgon is a region of the planet Alpha0291. That’s all Astra had.”

“Alpha02….” Alex thought she detected a hint of recognition in J’onn’s voice, but he was moving to quickly for her to ask.

“Listen up. We know very little about this alien, so we’re going to treat it like it’s the single most powerful thing we have ever faced. On the roof in two.”

The director and his second in command were on the roof immediately.

“Do you know something?” she asked as he started up the helicopter.

“Maybe. Used to talk about the planet on Mars. It was always more of a legend, something teenagers brought up at gatherings. Its people are, supposedly, gladiators.”

Usually, Alex had to pry information from Mars from him.

“Sir!” The team was arriving, and soon they pulled off of the helipad and were roaring towards the city.

\-----

“HUMANS!” the creature roared in frustration, batting another DEO Agent to the side. Their bullets were of little effect, and the battle had become intense. A fire had broken out, and Alex’s eyes had immediately gone to J’onn as Kara swooped to put it out. He never batted an eye, machine gun trained on the creature.

“Fetch, alien,” Marr called, hurling another hunkered down bystander into the air. “You are not of this world, and of little interest to me.”

For a moment, Alex thought he was talking to J’onn, but Kara had been flying in behind him, and now took off into the air to save the airborne woman.

“Like ants,” bellowed Marr. “It is a dishonor to have been sent here. So fragile, so weak, humans.”

Alex was out of bullets, but they were little more than bee stings to the alien anyway. She ripped a sword from her back, thick, and crafted from some alien metal, and rushed forward. Marr’s attention was focused elsewhere, as Supergirl had returned to the fight. She swung, and the metal sliced deep into the creature’s leg before it managed to shove her away. She hit the ground, hard, and scrambled backwards, but he was already standing over her.

“You are the one, then,” he said. “Such spirit. You will not win, but a show it will be.” From his armor, he pulled a weapon, but before he could shoot, he went flying from her, hitting the ground harder than Alex had. Alex struggled to her feet. J’onn loomed over him, in all his Martian glory. The creature’s eyes widened, a chortling sound rising from its throat.

“Son of Mars,” he rumbled. “A formidable foe indeed.” He raised his weapon.

“That won’t work on me,” said J’onn.

The alien fired.

J’onn was down.

Alex barely had time to register what was happening before Marr’s gaze was turned on her.

“A human, too, then, to fulfill the law.” The weapon was aimed, and then everything went black.

\----

She woke up sore, still in her bloodied and battle torn uniform. Cuffs bound her hands behind her back, but other than that, she was free to move. The room was white, but seemed to exude light from the empty surfaces themselves. Her head pounded, and her shoulder throbbed.

“Alex.”

She struggled to sit up. J’onn sat feet away from her in the otherwise empty room.

“What happened?”

‘I don’t know.” He was silent for a moment. There was a constant, dull, roaring sound, making the room vibrate even when she was still. “We’re on his ship,” J’onn said. “I can only assume he’s taking us back to Gosgon.”

Alex’s heart rate picked up. She wanted to ask why, but J’onn’s expression told her he knew little more than she did. A million thoughts rushed through her head, but there was little she could say.

“My powers have been inhibited,” he told her. “I’m sorry, Alex. This is a hell of a situation to end up in.”

She took a deep breath, nodding. She tried to tell herself that this was no different than the time they’d been taken by CADMUS, but she knew it wasn’t true. Outside the walls right now loomed the cold, dark vacuum of space. She could sense it, like a threat, an undercurrent of timeless and forever. She hadn’t even said goodbye.

“Do you know anything?” she asked quietly. “What he wants with us? Where we’re going.”

He hesitated.

“Just the stories.”

“Tell me,” she whispered, scooting closer. The ship rocked, and their room with it. Alex winced.

“They aren’t pretty,” he warned.

“I don’t care.”

            He looked away.

            “They’ll make us fight.” He turned his body away, and Alex did too, the weight of his worry settling in her stomach. Neither of them spoke for a long time.


	2. An'ytas

Alex probably fell asleep at some point, because she opened her eyes to J’onn watching her, clueless to how much time had passed. There was no natural source of light in the room, but she realized it didn’t matter. Wherever they were now, it was far away from her sun.

The thought drew up a wave of panic in her, and suddenly she was struggling to breathe. She kept her eyes closed, aware of J’onn’s heavy gaze, trying hard not to cry.

“There’s not a lot of hope, is there?” she whispered.

“Don’t say that,” he murmured, but his voice sounded hollow. He wasn’t one to lie. She could hear him swallow. “We’re going to die, Alex.”

She nodded, biting her lip, looking away.

“Memento mori.”

Her own death was inconsequential to the universe. But he, she assumed, would live forever. The last of his kind. He held the memories of a lost world. He wouldn’t die. The universe wouldn’t let him. That was worse, she realized, somehow.

“Let me undo those,” he said, and she opened her eyes. He was gesturing to her handcuffs. He wasn’t wearing any. She held her wrists out to him, and he managed to pop the lock, whether through some residual super strength or sheer willpower alone. She ran a hand down her opposite arm, relieved to be free. She got to her feet, and her head was inches from the ceiling. J’onn wouldn’t be able to stand up in here. She took a seat against the wall, close to where J’onn was sitting.

“What did you mean when you said fight?” she asked him. “In a war? Each other?”

“No,” he said emphatically. “Not each other, most likely. … What do you know about the Romans?”

“Enough.”

“We’re going to the coliseum. We’re the entertainment.”

His eyes looked clouded and far away.

“Are you worried for yourself, or me?” she asked. There were probably worse ways to die than fed to lions in front of a screaming crowd. There were definitely better.

His laugh was dark, and sent a chill down her spine.

“Only ever you. I’m not going to be able to save you, if I’m right. Or myself.”

He didn’t have her faith in his eternality. Alex made no comment. They were quiet for a while.

“To think, this is what finally does us in.”

If there had been anyone else in the room, she would have been certain he wasn’t talking to her, because he stared at the far off wall, his gaze focused on one spot.

“I never thought Alpha0291 was real,” he said bitterly. “ I barely remember the name. It was a story teenaged boys would tell out on the Heiiaas. It’s always what we forget that does us in. Like the White Martians.”

She wanted to ask about Mars, but there were more important things to address.

“If you’re blaming yourself, you’re wrong,” she said. “You couldn’t have known, from the information you were given.” He grunted. Alex put her hand on his. They were on a ride to their deaths; they weren’t stone cold agents anymore.

“Tell me. Pretend like we’re out on the Heiiaas.”

He froze for a moment, and then he doubled over. Alex’s eyes widened. He was laughing, genuinely laughing. Alex pulled back, offended.

“What, what’s so funny?” she asked, but she was grinning too. It was infectious. She had never seen him laugh in his true form. Didn’t know if she’d ever even seen the real J’onn J’onzz smile.

“You don’t know what you just said,” he managed. The weight of the situation had melted away, temporarily, and she playfully slapped his shoulder.

“Well, tell me!”

“You language doesn’t have the words.”

“Try Russian.”

“The _human_ language.”

“Try!”

“The Heiiaas,” he said. “Are like a journey. A sort of graduation. The right aged Martians went out for a summer and learned skills from the planet itself. It was—“ He struggled for words. “A rite of passage. A religious ritual, almost. A class.”

“I still don’t see why it’s funny.”

“It wasn’t as pure as it sounds,” he chuckled. “Someone would tell the Alpha story to try to get a girl to, uh, mate with him.”

Alex raised her eyebrows.

“Do tell. Do Martians woo each other with campfire stories?”

“Well, it wasn’t so much the kidnapping part. Uh,” he turned to her. “The inhabitants wanted virgins, as prizes for their contests.”

_Now_ Alex was laughing.

“God, there was a guy who tried to use that story at prom. A serial killer targeting virgins. He offered himself up, if anyone wanted to relieve themselves of the burden. Ah.” She settled back against the wall. “So, what’s the scary part? What are they going to do with us?”

“I don’t know,” he said. Then he whispered something, just low enough that she couldn’t hear.

“What?”

“An’ytas. It’s the Martian word. The untouched in spirit. The inhabitants of Alpha02 wanted to be the first to touch their minds.”

“Minds.”

“And bodies. Everything was different on Mars.” He sounded wistful. “Maybe it’s finally my time to join them.”

 

 

The door, previously indistinguishable from the wall, opened. The weapon, which Alex had decided was a super stun gun, was pointed at them. This time, she clung to J’onn as everything faded away.


	3. Trophy

Alex was in a cell made entirely out of glass. J’onn was not with her. Beyond that there was little she was sure of.

They had changed her clothes, and she shuddered at the thought of strange alien hands on her body. She wore a long, heavy skirt, and a barely-there scrap of something lacey on top. They didn’t seem like battle clothes. She wasn’t sure whether or not she should be relieved.

She was in the center of a plaza. There were aliens milling around her, all of the same build as the one who had captured them. They scurried to and fro, but a few stopped to stare, and Alex began to understand how the pandas felt at the zoo.

There seemed to be vendors, selling food and unidentifiable items. That was a scary thought. Maybe she was at a market. She could think of no way to escape with so many eyes on her, and she was weaponless, so she sat down on the ground and waited.

They would have to feed her at some point. And then…. And then every species had a weakness. But after that? She was half a light year away from home.

She felt almost numb. There should have been panic, despair, _something_ welling up within her, but she just stared, feeling nothing. It was jet lag, to the extreme, but then it was something more. She had little will to live. She had nothing to live _for._

She laid down on her back and looked up at the foggy, yellow sky through the glass. She was on another planet. It was something she’d always dreamed of, from the day she’d met Kara. To be the special one, the alien. To have something so _new_ and unknown to explore. She tried to interest herself in her surroundings. She tried to wonder about the sky, and the weather, tried to wonder what the chemical basis of life on this planet was, if they had genders, religions, if they photosynthesized or chemosynthesized, or had special powers. Nothing caught.

She closed her eyes, and she let herself cry. She wondered if she would ever see J’onn again. She wondered if it mattered.

\---

 

“Madam,” came a voice. Alex struggled to sit up and to recognize its source. Her face was raw and her eyes were sore. Her head pounded.

“Madam,” it repeated. There was a head sticking up from a hatch in the floor. She assumed it was a female of the species, and its eyes seemed kind, but she watched it with suspicion all the same. “Yes, down here. If you’d come with me, please.”

Suddenly ashamed to be caught in such a helpless position, Alex pulled herself to her feet and smoothed her hair down. The woman left the hatch open and disappeared back under the floor. Tentatively, Alex descended the ladder.

“Greetings,” said the woman as Alex’s feet landed on a steady platform. The room was dark, but something somewhere gave off an almost eerie glow. She scrutinized the alien, taller than her, and most certainly stronger. There was no hint of aggression in the way she spoke, and Alex wondered if she was being rescued or marched to her executioner.

“You’re the first earthling we’ve had here in millennia. It’s an honor to meet you. I’m Cassa, and I’ll be assisting you until tomorrow night.” She gave a mischievous smile. “It’s an honor to _be_ you. It may just be rumor, but I’ve heard that a Martian was brought here along with you.”

Alex didn’t know how to respond, so she gave a pinched smile.

“Maybe there’s been some miscommunication. Whatever it is you’re congratulating me about, you’d aught to find someone else. I’m not here of my own will.”

“So humble,” said Cassa with a giggle that seemed contrary to her size. “Follow me.”

Alex had to walk quickly to match Cassa’s pace, and the alien didn’t give her much warning before taking off down what Alex was beginning to realize was a long network of tunnels.

“No,” said Alex, indignant. “I want to go home. Preferably _with_ the Martian.”

“Oh,” said Cassa, “How forward. I like you. Usually they’re so gentle and innocent. You’re older than most. I guess I don’t have to treat you like a nursery maid.”

“Most what?” asked Alex, halting in the middle of the tunnel. “Please explain to me what’s going on. Maybe you don’t know, but I was living a perfectly satisfying life on my planet, before someone named Marr made a mess of my city and kidnapped me.”

Cassa was forced to stop and turn around to face Alex. She looked confused, and Alex found herself hoping for the first time, that this was all some mix up and she would be sent home straight away. She watched Cassa expectantly as she seemed to search for words.

“Here on Alpha, we have an annual festival. You’ve never heard talk of it on Earth. You have a lot to learn, then.” She took a step forward and gripped Alex’s forearm in a comforting gesture. “You probably won’t be going home. But I assure you, your time here will be nothing less than comfortable. You’re here for a reason. You were selected as the strongest representative of your species. It _is_ an honor.” She started walking again, and Alex chose to follow. She felt uneasy, but at least she felt something. From Cassa’s words she had deduced that J’onn was alive, and that there was no present intent to hurt her.

She thought of J’onn’s sad gaze as they had sat in the pod together. The forlornness with which he spoke of home. She hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye to him, either. He was all she had of _her_ home. She wondered if it was worth it, to carry memories of a world you would never see again.

Yes, she realized, walking in the dim light behind Cassa. It was worth it. She thought of Kara and Kal-El, and the difference her sister had made in her life.

She thought of J’onn, who had already lost one family, and suddenly she had something to fight for.

Cassa opened a door, and they were in another room, larger and better lit than the hallways had been.

“This is where you’ll be staying,” Cassa told her. “The glass chamber was just for show. A… coming attraction, if you will. Let’s get settled in, and then you can ask me your questions.”

\---

“Can I see J’onn? The Martian.”

“Eventually,” Cassa replied. Alex was sitting on a cushioned section of the floor, what she was told was a very fine bed.

“Okay. You mentioned tomorrow night. What’s happening then?”

Slowly, Cassa’s face lit up.

“Tomorrow night is the battle. The highlight of the festival.” She smiled at Alex. “I can tell you the whole story, from the beginning, if you’d like.”

“Please,” responded Alex. J’onn had expressed horror at the stories he’d heard, but they were rumors, legends. She wanted to know first hand what she was getting in to. She wanted to know _why._

“My people are warriors,” Cassa started. “It is how we determine hierarchies. It is our way of life. Our communities are lead by elder champions. Our planet is represented by current champions. The festival is a tradition as old as the planet itself. On the third night, two off worlders fight to the death before our community. The best representatives of their species. We go through the books to choose, planet to planet. It is only once a millennia that one particular species is sought out. It is the greatest honor. Tomorrow night is the third night.”

There was high reverence in her voice as she spoke, but Alex’s face was grim.

“A fight to the death. You mean I’m going to have to fight J’onn.” It was the cruelest fate she could imagine for him.

“Oh, no,” Cassa replied. “You won’t be fighting. You have the highest honor of all. You will be married to the champion. “ Alex’s blood ran cold. Cassa could see the unhappiness on her face. “It is an honor,” she repeated. “And this is unusual circumstance. Don’t hear that you are not strong. You, as a human, were meant to fight. But the Martians have long outrun their duty to the arena.” She smiled. “It is interesting to see someone like you as a prize, if you’ll excuse me. You’re not from a world we frequent.”

“I’m not a prize,” Alex managed. “I’m going to be leaving now, with or without your permission.” She got to her feet, slowly.

“You won’t be,” Cassa responded, her friendly tone barely covering a harsher one. Her eyes gleamed, and for the first time Alex felt threatened. Cassa’s hand closed around her arm, and Alex knew there was no point in fighting. Cassa pushed her to the ground. “I think it’s time you got some rest. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow.”

 


	4. Sweetwater

It seemed to take forever for Alex to fall asleep, no matter how hard she tried. She guessed she shouldn’t have been surprised. The room was dark and warm, but everything was foreign. The texture of the cushion beneath her, the pattern of Cassa’s breathing near the door. She had tried to stop thinking a long time ago, but stray thoughts continued to pound her brain. _How could she escape? What would happen if she did? If she didn’t?_

Alex must have eventually drifted off, because she woke to Cassa’s light shaking.

“Rise and shine,” she whispered softly. “It’s time to begin your preparation.”

Alex sat up on her cushion and sucked in a breath. The room was lit again, but there was no discernable source.

            “I have to go meet with a team. While I’m gone you can eat and change,” the alien said, and Alex thanked her, voice dull and flat. The moment Cassa was gone from the room Alex bolted to the door, jiggling at the handle, searching for a weak spot. There didn’t seem to be one. The door wouldn’t budge. She pressed against it uselessly for several minutes, but eventually turned back to the room. She fingered the clothes Cassa had left for her. The material was soft and slippery. It was a robe. Alex wasn’t comfortable strutting around who knows where naked beneath it, so she left the lace top on and slipped the heavy skirt off. Next to the clothing was a plate of fruit. She picked up a piece, letting it slide between her fingers, but she didn’t bring it to her mouth.

            Alex’s thoughts went to J’onn. How was he feeling, knowing he’d have to fight someone to the death? She knew him. He would never kill an innocent, even to protect his own life. To protect her? Alex didn’t want to think about it.

She didn’t let her mind drift to what would happen if J’onn didn’t win. Being given to J’onn wouldn’t mean anything. Her fate was less certain with a stranger.

            Cassa returned quickly.

            “You didn’t eat,” she noted, disappointment prominent on her face. Alex shrugged. “Well. We have a long day ahead of us. If you’ll follow me.”

            Alex pulled the robe tighter around herself as they stepped out into the tunnels again. Cassa was excitedly explaining the schedule to her.

            “First to the baths, then the priestess, then lunch, then dressing and makeup. I’m so excited.”

            Alex was decidedly less so. The baths were steamy and filled with other aliens waiting to dote on her. Most looked like Cassa, but a few must have been offworlders. A lithe, shimmery blue figure asked Alex to drop her robe, and she shook her head, arms crossed.

            “I’m perfectly capable of bating myself, thank you.” Her voice was sharp, but the servants just grinned at her. She felt Cassa’s hand on her back and she stiffened.

            “Do as they say.”

            Alex’s face was grim as they lead her to a steaming pool. In other circumstances it may have been relaxing. The water was warm and sweet-smelling, and one of the aliens washed her hair, gently massaging her scalp. She would have almost given in and pretended it was a spa day had the women around her not been chattering excitedly about the preparation.

            “You’ll be so beautiful for your champion,” one proclaimed, scrubbing at her feet. Alex had already attempted to pull away.

            “Artan, do you remember the hair preferences of Martians? They’re not in my books anymore.”

“I’m not sure. Just go with the Articulan style.”

            Alex squeezed her eyes shut and didn’t say anything.

            Articulan style, Alex learned, consisted of a very painful waxing that included her forearms. She prided herself on the fact that she never once flinched. The aliens smoothed a honey-like substance over her stinging skin. She now sat with her arms crossed over her chest as they covered her legs and torso with a shimmering powder. She had been in the baths for hours, and every surface of her body had been scrubbed. She couldn’t help but think that any reasonable being would agree this was ridiculous. J’onn certainly would.

            Her heart ached. Who knew what he was going through? She was being prepared to look pretty. He would have to fight. She endured the rest of the spa treatment with far less internal rebellion. Throughout it, she never said a word.

            Finally, Alex was wrapped once again in a robe. Cassa thanked the bath staff with a warm smile and pushed Alex out into the hallway again.

            “A little much,” Cassa said, “But tradition.” Alex was glad she agreed. “You’ll be meeting with the priestess next. She can address any of your concerns.”

            Alex doubted that.

            “Her job is to ascertain your purity. I can’t come in with you. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re done.”

            As Alex stepped into the room, she remembered her conversation with J’onn about virgin kidnappings. Purity. Oh brother. The room was a long chamber, and Alex debated whether or not she should tell the truth as she made her way down the aisle. What would be done with her if she wasn’t “pure”? The chambers made a sharp turn, and suddenly Alex was face to face with the priestess. She stood frozen in shock for a moment, then wondered if some gesture of reverence was expected. She tucked her knees in a half-curtsy, feeling stupid. The priestess smiled at her. She looked exactly like Cassa, but she had silvery markings around her face. Alex couldn’t tell if they were natural or painted on.

            “Welcome,” said the priestess. Her eyes were kind. “Quite the unusual prize you are. Still, Marr has assured me that you are pure of mind and spirit.” Alex said nothing. “Are you afraid?” she asked, and Alex hesitated.

            “No,” she said. “Do you condone this? The kidnapping? The fighting and murder?”

            The priestess’s smile didn’t change.

            “Most are afraid. Very few can fight like you do. Come here.”

            Alex was only feet away from the priestess, so she took just one step forward. The priestess beckoned her closer with a hand until Alex was within reach. She took Alex’s hand in her own and clasped it tight, eyes closed. The floor seemed to fall out from beneath Alex’s feet. She didn’t realize she had closed her own eyes, but after a moment they snapped open. She was breathing heavily.

            “Yes. Go now.”

            Somehow, Alex felt deeply violated as she made her way back down the aisle, far more than she had by the women in the baths.

            “I hope you get what you desire,” she heard the priestess call as she reached the door. Cassa was waiting just as she had promised, and looked Alex up and down as she eased the door shut. She studied Alex’s expression, and Alex wondered what she saw there. Alex was confused and pensive. She shook her head.

            “Let’s go to lunch,” said Cassa, for the first time sounding sympathetic instead of bright.


	5. Goodbyes

Alex watched Cassa as they ate, mimicking her actions and hoping that everything was safe for humans. The broth they sipped had a strange tang to it, but nothing was unpleasant. The two sat in silence under the supervision of the woman who had cooked the lunch. Like everyone else Alex had met, she wore a friendly smile.

            “You’ll be in the arena tonight, watching.” Cassa finally spoke. “I’ve heard that it’s going to be an interesting battle.”

            “Does J—does the Martian know?” she asked.

            “Know what?”

            “That I’ll be there, watching. That I’m…the prize.”

            Cassa dipped her head.

“The competitors are being given all of the information today,” she said.

“Have they hurt him?”

Cassa looked at her quizzically.

“No,” she said, voice soft.

They left the lunchroom with time to spare, according to Cassa. The walked the empty halls.

“You interest me,” Cassa said. “You are strong. You fight. But you oppose this. Do you wish for the chance to fight? To prove yourself?” Her voice was soft and genuinely curious. Alex looked her up and down out of the corner of her eye.

This is all she had ever known, Alex realized. She was her captor, but Alex couldn’t help but like her.

“No,” she said. “I fight when I have to. To protect what I care about.”

“Do you care about the Martian?”

“Yes.” Her answer was solid. She let out a breath of laughter. “So far from home…he’s my whole world.”

“Tell me about your world.”

Alex spent long minutes telling Cassa about skyscrapers, oceans, the desert, about Kara and the DEO, her mother, dogs, lions, humans. Her heart filled with bitter joy as she described her planet to Cassa. The alien listened intently, reacting to Alex’s stories in all the right places.

Alex wondered if she'd ever see it all again.

“Wow,” she said finally. They sat in silence for a few more minutes. “It’s time to go.”

The smiles of the people in the dressing room looked forced. They hurried Alex into a chair. Cassa stood off to the side, watching carefully. The team of five women darted around listlessly, gathering products, running fingers through her hair. Finally, two settled in behind her and began pinning her hair to her head. Alex couldn’t even begin to guess what it looked like. They painted her face with powders and liquids, stepping back and “hmmmm”ing every few minutes. One kept glancing nervously towards Cassa, keeping time, Alex guessed. Finally, they eased her down from the chair. Alex wished there was a mirror.

The outfit they had chosen out for her was certainly something. She wore no undergarments, but the dress they slid over her shoulders was thick and black. Its texture was almost scaly. They placed a black choker around Alex’s neck, and finally, she was lead to a mirror.

She looked ridiculous. Her hair was piled atop her head with silver clips, and her face was pale. Her eyes were outlined in red, and her cheeks were dotted with the same color. She closed her eyes and tried to think about Kara, about how her sister would laugh at her, and not how the team was hurrying now, how it was almost time for the main event.

Cassa and Alex’s pace down the hallway was brisk.

“It’s almost time to say goodbye,” she said. “I’ll be in the stadium. I’ll be watching. It’s been an honor to meet you.”

‘What happens now?” asked Alex, holding up her skirt so she wouldn’t trip over it. Cassa shook her head.

“The tournament starts in an hour. The staff will prep you.”

They reached a door, larger and more arching than any they’d encountered yet. Cassa stopped and faced her. Alex didn’t know why she felt a lump in her throat, but she did. For a second her nervous energy was replaced by a deep sadness. No matter the outcome of the night, she would probably never see Cassa again. Cassa put her hand on the door and pushed. It opened a crack.

“Goodbye,” she said.

“Thank you,” said Alex. She had only ever had her best intentions at heart. Alex moved to go through the door.

“You really do look pretty,” said Cassa. “Good luck.”

The door shut automatically behind her, and suddenly Alex felt alone again. Her fear spiked, and she forced herself to breathe. There was nothing she could do, she told herself, trying to see it as a comfort instead of a point of terror. A room full of people was looking at her. At the far end of the room Alex saw a flash of green. She recognized J’onn, and she wanted to run to him. His eyes were on the floor. He hadn’t seen her yet.

“Oh!” cried one of the aliens. “Oh! I’m sorry. Right this way.”

A male had his hand on her back and he was pushing her forward.

“Alex, right? An earthling.”

“Right,” said Alex. “What now?” The man looked at her curiously, but didn’t answer.

“I’ll show you to the balcony. Champions!”

J’onn glanced up, his eyes dark, and for the first time Alex noticed a grey-ish humanoid alien, his gaze distinctively predatory. Both were surrounded by the planet’s native species, but Alex fought to met J’onn’s eyes through the crowd.

“Good luck,” the male with his hand at her back said, with a smile that Alex hated.

Finally, their eyes met.

“Alex!” he shouted, and Alex reached for him, but the male was already pulling her from the room.

“J’onn!” she called. “J’onn, please!” He was fighting against his guard, but the alien jerked her roughly through the door. Alex was holding back tears. She went limp in the alien's arms.

“Now,” said the alien calmly. “This way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short chapter, but the next should be up soon!


	6. Rubble and Dust

Alex could hear the roar of the crowd from behind the curtain where she stood. They had taken an elevator up to the platform she stood at now, but she had no way of knowing just how far above the ground she was. Beyond the curtain, the announcer was riling up the crowd. Alex had a fixed expression on her face: stony, strong. She would not betray her emotions to the thousands of beings whose eyes would undoubtedly be on her in a moment. Her stomach clenched, threatening to expel her lunch.

“Champion of Rashta, Articulan, Em Coem!” the announcer’s cry rang out. The crowd went wild, and Alex wondered how many there were. How many had gathered to watch this sick spectacle?

“And hailing from Mars, Green Martian, J’onn J’onzz!” The crowd roared again, and Alex’s nails dug into her palm. What was he feeling, down on that floor, without anyone by his side? What was he planning?

“And now, this year’s gift, a human, hailing from the planet Earth!”

Alex felt a push from behind. She regained her balance and stepped through the curtain with a cold confidence. The crowd erupted with cheers and wolf whistles. The stadium was filled with countless creatures, more than Alex had ever seen in one place. She surveyed the domain from her high vantage point, looking down upon thousands of pink bodies, dotted with colorful offworlders who had gathered for the event. Finally, her eyes settled on the floor, so far below her, but the only thing that mattered. On one side of the arena stood J’onn, and for a moment her heart swelled with pride. She couldn’t read his expression from where she stood, but he looked so strong and able. He didn’t shrink from the crowd, but he didn’t play to their energy either. He looked so _other,_ so much like something that didn’t belong in this crowd of rowdy and flawed souls.

His opponent sat back, scanning the crowd with sharp yellow eyes. His skin was a dusty gray and his appendages ended in sharp claws, undoubtedly polished for the occasion.

The announcer launched back into his introduction, but Alex wasn’t paying attention. Down on the battle floor, J’onn had turned to face her. Their eyes met across the vast space. She still couldn’t see his expression, but her eyes pleaded with him, although she wasn’t sure what for.

Alex just wanted this to be okay. J’onn looked away, turning back to his opponent, and her heart sank. Deep down, a voice told her things would never be okay again.

She was seated in a chair next to the announcer and several guards at the top of a never-ending flight of stairs.

“At the striking of the drum the battle will begin. I trust our champions will fight to bring honor to their planets and kin, and we respect and commend you for your service to both this system and your own.”

Funny, Alex thought. Honor. Abduction. Respect. Destruction.

And then a gong was struck. The sharp sound radiated out through the space, and the gray alien, Coem, sprang from his place. J’onn took a step forward and kept his stance strong, but didn’t move. Alex couldn’t watch.

But she had to. Her eyes were riveted to the scene as the alien circled J’onn. She longed for nothing more than to be by his side. The alien sprang and J’onn sidestepped, avoiding its long claws. Coem took advantage of J’onn’s unbalance and shot back immediately, catching his arm. J’onn fought back with a roar, and Alex gripped the arms of her chair tighter. All around her, the stadium was in a roar, shouting, whooping, whistling, booing. Coem clipped J’onn again, and Alex could see the blood that now stained the dusty floor of the arena. J’onn pushed Coem back against one wall, diving in close enough to pick him up by the shirt and toss him to the ground. J’onn followed him to the floor and stood over his body, but in his second’s pause Coem recovered and shoved J’onn away, sending him flying. J’onn regained his balance in the air and dove back into the fight. Coem was a formidable foe, and Alex’s knuckles were white from her strong grip.

The grey alien feigned right. Alex could see it from where she sat, but J’onn couldn’t. Coem caught him off guard and sliced at his side with glistening nails. Blood bloomed immediately to the surface, contrasting sharply against J’onn’s deep green skin. Alex drew in a breath, and J’onn must have done the same. Coem was on him in a second, beating him back the way he came. J’onn was losing ground quickly even as he blocked Coem’s blows. J’onn got a punch in to Coem’s abdomen and took the moment to take off a few feet into the air. Alex willed him desperately to keep going, to fly away, to leave her to whatever fate awaited her.

            He dove back to the arena floor, pummeling Coem into the dirt. Something happened in the scuffle; Alex couldn’t see, but suddenly Coem had the upper hand. J’onn’s back was to the ground, and he blocked the gray alien’s strikes to his critical areas only barely. Alex was on the edge of her seat, willing J’onn to get back to his feet. Coem slashed at J’onn’s face and made a hit. J’onn’s forehead was now dripping blood as he struggled to hoist his attacker off of him. Coem got in another blow to his head, and suddenly J’onn was still. The theater’s overt roar had turned to a more quiet rumbling. Coem reared up to strike.

            “No!” cried Alex, choking on the lump in her throat. She tore herself from her chair and launched herself towards the stairs all on instinct. She barely registered the movement until the guards were on her, yanking her backward as she cried out for J’onn.

            Just before Coem could strike, J’onn stirred, taking the moment to shove Coem to the side. Coem’s surprise was evident, and suddenly J’onn had the upper hand again. He fought with unbridled fury and drove Coem back against the wall. His hand was at the gray alien’s throat, and the crowd went wild at the upset, hollering, rejoicing with renewed interest in the fight.

            It was over for Coem. He was pinned to the wall, J’onn’s fingers tight around his neck. One blow to the head would do him in. J’onn raised his fist, and Alex looked away.

            The sound that came from the crowd was one of shock. Alex turned quickly back to the arena, and saw Coem slumping to the ground. J’onn stood over him, bleeding, guilty, and Alex couldn’t hold back anymore. She fought her way past the guards and tore down the staircase, skirt rucked up around her waist.

            “J’onn J’onzz, this year’s champion…” roared the announcer. Alex didn’t realize she had been crying, but the wind blew tears from her face as she hurried down the steps. J’onn still stood in the center of the arena, fists at his sides. As Alex neared the floor she could see the deadness in his eyes. No one stopped her as she ran to him. The crowd was cheering, the announcer talking, but Alex didn’t hear anything. Finally, finally, he was within reach, and Alex threw her arms around him.

            “J’onn,” she gasped against him. “Oh God, J’onn. Everything’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

            “He didn’t suffer,” J’onn said. “I gave him mercy.” His voice was flat, so Alex cried for both of them. She held him and sobbed, running her hands down his temples, avoiding his still bleeding wounds. He gazed off into the distance.

            “He didn’t suffer,” J’onn repeated, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself.

            “You did what you had to. It’s not your fault.”

            “He was innocent.”

            “J’onn.”

            The crowd roared on around them, and Alex was vaguely aware of the floor flooding with important natives to the planet and guards. She didn’t let go of J’onn, so much larger than her, so fragile in this moment. There was music, and J’onn and Alex were instructed to climb the steps she had just raced down. She didn’t let go of his arm, didn’t tear her eyes from his face. He looked straight ahead as they climbed the stairs. He wouldn’t look at her. They reached the top of the flight and turned to look down upon the stadium, the crowd chanting J’onn’s name.

            “I did it for you,” he whispered.


	7. Cover Up

“Right this way, J’onn,” chimed an ecstatic alien, leading them to the elevator from which Alex had come. She held his hand in her own, her grip tight. They didn’t speak—just did as the beings around them instructed. J’onn was repeatedly congratulated. He never responded, but it didn’t dampen the great joy of the group that ushered them through the halls.

            “We’re going home now?” Alex asked, taking charge. “You’ll put us in a pod back to Earth.” Much to her frustration, the guard seemed to ignore her, continuing to attempt to coax J’onn into conversation instead.

            “When are we leaving?” she repeated, louder. Still the group ignored her. Alex tightened her grip on J’onn’s hand. He turned to look at her for a moment. He opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything. He looked away again.

            Finally, the group stopped outside one of the doors.

            “You’ll have an hour to clean up, sir. There should be clothing inside. Someone will be here to escort you to the feast when it’s time, but if you require any assistance before then, there’s a simple button to press.”

            The door slid open, and the alien stepped to the side.

            “Do you wish to keep your human with you?”

            “Yes,” J’onn said, his voice harsh. “You can go now.”

            “I trust you know the…plan. And subsequent rules.”

            “Yes,” J’onn repeated. “Leave us now.”

            They stepped into the room and the door slid shut behind them with a definite thud. They stood in silence for a moment; then Alex turned to J’onn.

            “I missed you,” she whispered. The moment lingered. She shook her head. “There have to be medical supplies somewhere. Sit down. I’ll patch you up.” She moved to leave him, but he didn’t release his grip on her hand.

            “Alex,” he said urgently. “Alex…” His eyes looked pained, but at least they held some emotion. “Alex…Do you remember what we talked about on the trip here?”

            “Which part?” she asked, brow furrowing. Blood still dripped from his forehead and side. Alex needed to patch him up before he got any woozier.

            “The…the Heiiaas. An’ytas.”

            “Yeah,” said Alex. “I’m the virgin sacrifice.” She snorted. “So they say. Their high priestess couldn’t tell the difference.”

            “An’ytas,” he repeated. “Untouched of mind. To a telepathic species, you may as well be.”

            “J’onn.” Her voice was impatient. “We can discuss this sometime when you’re not blinking blood out of your eyes.”

            “Fine, fine,” he said, dropping her hand and turning away. Half of Alex was exasperated and half felt guilty as she stepped away.

In one corner of the room was a large drain and something Alex guessed functioned as a shower. A large white box sat next to it, and Alex opened it up, rummaging through its contents. It was packed with bandages, pills, and ointments. She left the medicine be, but crossed back to J’onn with an armful of bandages and what she hoped was some sort of antibiotic treatment.

            He looked a sorry sight, dusty and covered in blood, some his own, some not. His wounds were only seeping now. He always seemed to heal faster than a human, a benefit of being Martian.

            “You should rinse off,” she told him. “I can help.”

            “They’re going to make me fuck you Alex,” he said suddenly, the words uttered all at once, but shockingly clear.

            “What?” Alex swallowed hard, her heart dropping to the pit of her stomach.

            ‘It’s part of the…festival. The champion and his prize are joined. Publicly.” They stood in silence for a moment, Alex frozen, still clutching the bandages. “That’s what I was trying to tell you before.” His voice was soft now.

            Alex took a deep breath.

            “Okay,” she said. “When?”

            “Okay?”

            “J’onn, you just killed someone. You’re dripping blood. I’m just happy we’re both alive at this point. It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.” Her heart was thudding in her chest. She tried to attribute it to anger.

            “Sacrifice,” repeated J’onn. “Tonight. After the banquet.”

            “Tonight.” Alex’s voice was quiet now. Everything was so surreal. “We’ll worry about it then. For now, J’onn, you need to rinse off.”

            His eyes were almost angry as he dipped his head and headed to the other corner of the room. He had every right to be, of course, but Alex couldn’t help but feel some part of it was directed at her. She took a seat and started unwrapping the bandages, taking inventory of the supplies she had.

            On the other side of the room she could hear J’onn’s sharp intake of breath as he tried to ease his clothes over his wounds. She fought to keep her eyes pinned on the wall. The water turned on, and Alex was left with her thoughts.

            She bit her lip, fully considering the information that J’onn had just given her. She had reacted on instinct, but left alone, the shock set in.

            She and J’onn were going to have to have sex. Alex, the earthling, fragile and weak, and J’onn, the ancient and eternal Martian, her boss. She rubbed her face with one hand, leaning back and breathing. How did she feel about that?

            It didn’t matter, she told herself. It was going to happen either way. She didn’t get to have feelings about the matter. She looked down. Her hand was covered in white. She remembered her makeup, and wondered if it was possible for it to look worse smudged.

There was a mirror on the other side of the room, in the opposite corner from the shower, and Alex studied herself. Her dress was smudged with blood and dust from holding J’onn, and there were circles around her eyes where tears had washed away the red makeup. She looked like a wreck, and nothing like herself, and for the first time in hours she smiled.

“Alex,” J’onn called.

“Yeah?” She didn’t dare turn around.

“Um. Can you—I need—“

“I’m coming,” she said. She crossed to him, keeping her eyes for the most part averted.

“I, uh...” His back was turned to her, and she could see an ugly red gash interrupting the smooth green flesh between his shoulder blades. “It needs to be cleaned. I can’t—my arm—“ His left arm hung limply at his side, also showing deep red cuts from the battle.

“Sshh,” said Alex, feeling both so in and so out of her element. She tried to get closer, but the water fell from the ceiling in the entire corner of the room. She looked down at her dress, already ruined, and took the step anyway. She stood in the water with J’onn and laughed to herself as the warm water pounded down on her skin, washing the shimmering powders away and soaking the thick black cloth of her no doubt expensive outfit.

“Alex,” J’onn protested. She laughed.

“It’s fine. Give me that.”

She took the cloth from his hand and ran it down his back. His muscles rippled under her touch, configured differently than a human’s. She had to look up to wash his neck; he was so much larger than her. The whole thing was so intimate but so ridiculous, she told herself. She was merely curious, scientifically; that’s why she reacted so strongly to his powerful form.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked.

“It’s just funny,” she explained, blinking back water droplets. “This. We’re taking a shower together. I’m fully clothed, dressed up like an alien princess.”

“The make up they put on you _was_ quite stunning,” J’onn conceded, and they were both chuckling now.

She washed carefully around the edges of his wound, keeping one hand splayed on his back to steady herself.

“There,” she whispered. “Dry off, and I’ll dress your wounds.”

She stepped back out of the spray, wondering what exactly she was going to do about her own soggy state. She crossed back to the bench where she’d laid her supplies, shaking out the sleeves of her dress. J’onn followed her, laughing softly to himself.

‘You left a trail,” he said. “Let’s hope they have a change of clothes for you, too.”

Alex bandaged each of his major wounds quickly. He sighed as she rubbed the ointment into his skin.

“Better?” she asked. He dipped his head once.

They dug through the closets, filled with clothes picked out for both Alex and J’onn. Nothing was quite up to earth’s fashion standards, but Alex was just happy to be dry. She slipped on a shapeless dusty red dress, this one less bulky, and took her hair down from what remained of the pins. She struck a pose for J’onn, who held back laughter. Alex went back to the mirror, wiping away the smudges that remained of the makeup and finger combing her hair.

“They’ll be back soon,” said J’onn. “We should…talk.”

            His voice was serious again, and it made Alex nervous. She would have been happy to go on acting like this was all one big joke.

            “What about?”

            “Tonight. What do you want to happen?”

            Now _that_ was a loaded question.

            “I don’t know,” she said. “What do you want?”

            ‘I’m not the one making the _sacrifice._ ”

            Alex’s earlier words came back to her and her mouth dropped open.

            “J’onn—“ he couldn’t be upset about her choice of phrasing. It wasn’t like he was thrilled about it either. “J’onn, this isn’t the ideal situation for either of us. But what are our options?”

            He wasn’t looking at her.

            “I can make you forget.”

            “I don’t want that,” she said softly. He was silent. She crossed to him, laying a hand on his shoulder, features soft. “J’onn. We’re in this together, right? We’re a team.”

            He didn’t look at her, and his laughter was clipped.

            “You’re you, Alex. And I’m me.”

            _Exactly,_ Alex thought. _That’s the problem. That has always been the problem._ Fury bloomed in her stomach.

“What do you mean?”

            “Alex, you’re so young, and pure, and—“

            “Human?” she guessed. “Weak? Worthless?”

            “Perfect,” he whispered.

            “J’onn,” Alex said, shaking her head. “No. I’m not the one who matters here.”

            He turned to face her, eyes narrowed, searching. Alex met his gaze head-on.

            ‘J’onn,” she said. “This is—This isn’t the way I thought I’d be spending my weekend. Month. I don’t even know how much time has gone by. But I’m doing it by your side, and that’s more than I’ve ever asked for.”

            The way he looked at her made her stomach beat like it was full of hummingbirds, forget butterflies. He looked positively predatory, determined to convince her she was wrong. It only made her angrier, bolder.

            “I mean it, J’onn. I’m fucking terrified. But I’m standing by your side and nothing you say can change that. I may not ever be good enough for you. But whatever I—“

            He was on her in a moment, pushing her back up against the wall with all his strength. They were face to face and Alex’s mouth was open, astounded.

            “You are more than good enough,” he snarled. Their eyes stayed locked for a moment, and there was no telling what would have happened if there hadn’t been a knock on the door. J’onn released her. His gaze softened.

            “Alex…”

            She took his hand, meeting his eyes, serious, strong.

            “Let’s go.”


End file.
